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Yep. Except I can never nail that last part.
wow i’ve just read all of this in one sitting and it really hit home with how i feel on a regular basis – which is a whole ‘nother can of worms i don’t want to deal with at the moment. Thank you for this
Opus the Poet says
This reads as a variation on Imposter Syndrome. It’s one of the harder mental illnesses to fight no matter which version you have.
What melts my heart and gives me hope is that they are both willing to keep trying. Robin has enough self-awareness to admit that reality may not match her own logic and gut feelings, and in her love, she is willing to do her best to trust her partner even when the “evidence” in her head tells her the opposite. That takes a whole lot of courage.
And Wren is understanding enough to take the confession in good faith and not as a personal attack. Most people have gotten offended when I told them what Robin just did because they think I’m denying their feelings or calling them liars instead of pointing out a problem with my own perception and sharing how that bothers me and hinders me from receiving their love. But Wren doesn’t get offended, or blame Robin, or try to “fix” her, or tell her not to think that way (most useless advice to anyone living with cognitive distortions. She basically just says, “I’ll keep loving you regardless, and I’ll make sure to show it to you as often as I can.
And I think that’s a very powerful message. That’s what genuine, strong relationships are made of, a love that doesn’t give up the fight on either side. <3
Over the past seven months, a person in my life has been telling me that she loves me. Not a romantic way, but that isn’t really relevant. Every time she told me, I would instinctively question it because everyone who has ever told me they love me has done something terrible that hurt me badly, and some of them never truly loved me at all. I questioned her every time she said it, and believed a little more each time, but never truly felt it. She recently got angry about my self-hatred and let it show in her voice and body language for the first time. But what she was saying was that she loves me, and I felt it. I truly felt it. I felt her anger for the first time, but it wasn’t at me, it was FOR me.
It isn’t the romantic love (Or so she says. Maybe she is holding back due to previous commitments, or maybe I am just being hopeful…) but it is still a real love that has withstood my trials of fire and come out stronger for it. It has completely changed how I look at life and how I feel, at least it has so far in the time that has passed since I truly accepted her love. I felt the love that I needed to feel, so I could have the feeling of self-worth enough, to self-validate enough, and actually start recovering from certain trauma that made me try as hard as I could to make everyone thing I was absolutely nothing but a worthless failure. Feeling love from her is what has made me actually fight to put my therapy into use and begin to live again.
Listen folks.. If you love someone, and it does NOT have to be a romantic love… But if you love someone, tell them so, and try to be sure they understand it. If you see they are struggling, and they try to reject your love? Love them all the same, and don’t give up on them if you truly love them. Even platonic love can save lives.
Damn, I feel this one.
I can’t say “I love you” nor I can’t accept it. When I hear it I ask “Why?” and I just can’t make myself to believe it. Sounds fake if I say it, doesn’t makes sense if someone says it to me.
Same goes with praises. When I work on something I (thankfully) don’t aim to perfection but to a good ol’ “eh, good enough”, and yet if someone compliments me I feel like they are patronizing me. Unless they give me a critic or tell me what I could improve, I can’t feel like they’re being honest.
And I know this, I know this is not right and that probably it’s all in my head, but boy, I can’t help it.
Easy fix: just have no one tell you they love you.