Published December 2, 2021 12 Comments
December 2, 2021 at 3:10 pm
Damn, it’s really been a year since we last saw this character. I missed her
December 2, 2021 at 10:58 pm
yes when depression episodes attack, they are very heavy, disgusting, and weakening.
you know it will eventually pass on, but you also know the fact it will come back.
December 7, 2021 at 2:14 am
Everything ends, even sadness
December 2, 2021 at 11:00 pm
2% and someone is try to take screenshots with me. 😐
Another one right on the nose Clay. I can be glad today she has a good bed to curl up in, but there are definitely those days when I wouldn’t even be able to notice.
December 2, 2021 at 11:12 pm
I love all the characters in this comic. Well, except the asshole ones that don’t understand depression. But those people exist, so you gotta have them.
I like the message in this one. I’ve come to try to think of depression episodes in the same way everyone thinks of headaches. And by saying that I am NOT diminishing the absolute motherfucker that depression is, so don’t get me wrong on that point.
What I try to do is think of it as something happening to me that is not inherently me. When everything seems like it’s turning to shit, or worse, when I’m feeling that I AM shit, sometimes it can help me to think “Oh wait a minute – I’m having a depression. That’s what’s going on.”
It’s not a candy-cane and unicorns “Just say no to depression” thing, but sometimes, sometimes it helps to say: “OK, this will pass. I’m in the shit right now. This is not a good time to make big decisions. Ride it out, do the things that help, if it’s possible. My inherent self-worth is not based on how I feel at this moment.”
Sometimes when someone asks me how I am, instead of saying “Oh, OK” I say “I’m having a depression, and it really sucks.” Granted, you have to pick and choose to whom you say that.
Depression kicks my ass all the time, but it really helps to separate it from the core of my being, if possible.
Thanks for the great comics, Clay!
December 3, 2021 at 11:15 pm
For me it helped to anthropomorphize my depression. It is an enemy trying to destroy me and everything I have ever cared about. It tells monstrously horrible lies, and manipulates emotions to make them seem plausible. You must not listen to it.
I know that in the end it cannot defeat me. I recognize that it lies, and I refuse to listen. I am too stubborn to let it control me. The worst it can possibly do is to render me immobile, and in that case I will still survive.
December 2, 2021 at 11:13 pm
For me that lack of volition was a safety valve. When I most wanted to die, I was unable to act on it.
JC Hale says
December 3, 2021 at 7:52 pm
Hooboy. Oof. Yup. *That’s* a mood. I can’t count the number of *cough* “mornings” I’ve had over the last few years where I woke up, tallied my spoons, came up short, and tried to go back under for a few more hours. Even the nightmares can occasionally be easier than just maintaining the routine.
Keeping a supply of energy bars and caffeine pills in the nightstand helps- it’s easier to reach a few feet for the “get up and go” than to pry yourself out of bed to walk across the house for it- but damn, rotating through 90 whole degrees is a bloody chore, sometimes.
December 3, 2021 at 10:51 pm
Today it’s also _cold_ to be reaching out from my blankets. But I guess I will, water awaits.
December 3, 2021 at 11:08 pm
For me caffeine only makes things worse. The stimulant effect is superficial, so that although I have the feeling I should be busy doing something, I still lack the energy to actually do anything. The contrast between the two is extremely frustrating.
Opus the Poet says
December 13, 2021 at 6:05 am
Yeah, when you have to do things but don’t have the emotional strength to get out of bed, or even take your clothes off before getting in the bed.
Julia M. says
December 18, 2021 at 11:35 am
This was basically my entire COVID experience.
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