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Yup. It’s a long wait.
It’s been a few years now…
My whole life. It started when I was in my teens and would sleep through entire summers. I’m now in my 50s… sometimes it would lift just enough to make you realize you’ve been in it but its just a tease.
you do realize that .. once you are hit with depression, it will stay with you until it kills you right?
you can’t escape it, there is no solution for it, and it stays as long as you stay.
you literally pushed on the self destruction chain that will never end, until it ends you.
That’s what the depression wants you to think. But it lies.
I was depressed for about five years, but I eventually recovered. It took a lot of effort and counselling, and I was on antidepressants for well over a year. For me the main part was recognizing that the thoughts and feelings I experienced were irrational, and to consciously reject them I also realized that the depression ultimately could not win. it could make me feel miserable, and obsessed with death and dying, but whenever it became intense enough I wanted to die it also removed the volition that would permit me to act. I also knew that the antidepressants I took could prevent the worst of it, and I could be back on them within a week if necessary.
There are lasting effects. Depression still lingers in the background, but it no longer dominates my life, and fending it off has become easier over the decades. There are some emotions I can no longer feel, or at least not as strongly as I once did. I don’t feel exhilaration, enthusiasm, joy, or euphoria, but I can feel contentment, anticipation, and satisfaction. It’s enough.
Yeah, I realized a while back that the only way I am going to be depression is by dying of something other than my own intentions. No luck on that so far, but neither have I failed at it yet.
Thinking that I’m not striving to ever feel exhilaration, enthusiasm, joy, or euphoria, or realistically at this point, love, well… not really sure.
Ugh… *beat depression, not “be depression”
Stop staring into my life!😆
It’s a process