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Story/Art © 2017 Clay

416 "Can we talk for a sec?"

Recurring Characters

Published December 16, 2018 21 Comments

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Comments

  1. Evan J SandersEvan J Sanders says

    December 16, 2018 at 7:38 am

    This exact issue played a major part in my last relationship falling apart. It hit hard seeing it here. Thank you.

    11
    Reply
    • clay says

      December 16, 2018 at 7:47 am

      I’m sorry to hear that. I hope better days are ahead.

      6
      Reply
  2. Leslie AlexisLeslie Alexis says

    December 16, 2018 at 7:47 am

    Reality.

    4
    Reply
  3. Lani ChisnellLani Chisnell says

    December 16, 2018 at 7:55 am

    Yup. This happened to me too

    4
    Reply
  4. Mikael DahlqvistMikael Dahlqvist says

    December 16, 2018 at 9:03 am

    Mental health issues is the modern day Leprosy

    12
    Reply
    • A says

      December 16, 2018 at 11:34 am

      Indeed, and in a time where it’s “cool” to act like you’re depressed and wanna die on the the internet, actually being depressed and wanting to talk about it is still so taboo

      8
      Reply
    • Someone says

      December 18, 2018 at 9:05 am

      Very apt!

      1
      Reply
  5. Kristian WilliamsKristian Williams says

    December 16, 2018 at 11:22 am

    This is the sort of thing that killed one of the most treasured friendships I’ve ever had.

    4
    Reply
  6. jackmarten says

    December 16, 2018 at 1:27 pm

    thanks for the new post Clay … this is very relatable

    2
    Reply
  7. Samin Mark UrquelleSamin Mark Urquelle says

    December 16, 2018 at 10:21 pm

    Solidarity.

    3
    Reply
  8. Aleksandra says

    December 17, 2018 at 5:24 am

    You paint it like it’s a horrible thing to do, but you don’t have the right to burden other people with your problems against their will. Keeping boundaries is healthy. They may not be equipped for that, and they may have their own issues. Go to someone who’s ready to take it, and better yet, knows how to help.

    3
    Reply
    • clay says

      December 17, 2018 at 5:37 am

      You paint it like it’s suggesting people go up to random strangers and tell them their problems. It’s a METAPHOR for people who need to reach out for help but are being swept under the rug. The fact that you got defensive over this is telling,

      15
      Reply
  9. Casey says

    December 17, 2018 at 11:35 pm

    To be sort-of honest here…. being depressed often “infects” other people – sometimes the talk doesn’t help you. it just creates another depressed person.

    The world is shit and getting shitter by the day – many people develop the ability to ignore the ordure they walk through in life, others see it and it affects them.
    Talking about it just infects those who can then no longer ignore it (because the talk highlights it, makes it noticeable even through the brain-filter).

    And then there’s the twin demons of Patronisation and Authority, that latter the worst of all because some arsehole with more power than brain cells (yeah, looking at you social services verminous shit stains) decides that your depression is “a danger” to you or your family and either takes you away from them or takes them away from you….as if that’s going to help?

    Better to not talk about it at all = no “infection” of others, no patronisation from Miss Society, and not having to deal with those utter arseholes in the social services.

    5
    Reply
    • th- says

      December 22, 2018 at 5:45 am

      I haven’t felt “talking about it” helped me at all, usually the opposite. Indeed it just probably makes the another person feel bad too, while I “gain” nothing.

      2
      Reply
  10. Lee says

    December 19, 2018 at 9:08 pm

    I wish my boyfriend would talk to me about his depression. He just kind of ignores it and that makes me so sad.




    3
    Reply
  11. mackie stingray says

    December 20, 2018 at 3:36 am

    The silencing effect of feeling like this is something you’ll cause in others is something I’m feeling right now. I hadn’t quite put it into a real sentiment until I read this. Thanks.

    2
    Reply
  12. wowza says

    December 23, 2018 at 12:25 pm

    This is my deepest fear. Depression is a balancing act; its a fight to stay positive while sometimes needing to externalize baseless dark thoughts I’ve ruminated on just so they don’t convince me they are fact. I’ve accepted that you can only talk about it with a few close loved ones and even then, you must avoid tipping the scales too much about mental health and focus on the positive aspects of life, even though you have to fight with every fiber of your being to do so.

    Those with depression know that we can never expect our loved ones to solve all of our problems. Our friends/family/partners are not therapists, well for most of us. Its difficult to accept that they cannot save us and we feel guilt being alive and exposing them to this struggle. However, they can make a difference and if they’re meant to be in your life, they’ll have the capacity to listen to you. Just show the same empathy and listen to them as well! Sometimes our anxieties or depression involve them or they could offer perspective that can also transform our mindset. A support system won’t solve everything but it really does help.

    If someone does not want to listen about your mental health, it does not make them a bad person; it just means you cannot share that aspect of yourself with them and thus, they won’t know you on a deeper level as a friend. That doesn’t mean they’re a bad friend or you should stop being their friend. Some friends you only watch movies with, some friends you only attend art class with, etc… Sometimes the level of friendship remains at a shallow level or in a limited sphere and thats normal from what I’ve seen.

    There are many layers of depth a friend can have and this is like a cross roads where the relationship turns superficial and dims down or the only connection you have left is sharing a common interest and you both spend time together involved in only that for the most part. Not all friendships have or will be deep so cherish the ones that are.

    1
    Reply
  13. Lauren says

    January 8, 2019 at 5:57 am

    and its the people that do this, that say they want to talk and cannot seem to put aside their being uncomfortable or stepping out of their comfort zone are what add to all the stigma. it causes me to want to loathe people more….even though i wouldn’t act on it.

    1
    Reply
  14. J Lo says

    March 13, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    Lol reminds me of my ex. “I’m always here for you. I do understand” and “stop feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in self pity”.

    Reply
  15. MP says

    March 20, 2019 at 8:54 am

    It’s why I don’t reach out and talk to more people [I know] about this. I’m usually ignored, a few times it’s dismissed, or they eventually become sick of me complaining. So it all sounds less than believable that they would be upset or their “lives will change forever” should I die. The problem solved itself.

    Reply
  16. Jessica says

    April 14, 2019 at 12:06 am

    My husband told me that not too long ago. He was the one person I trusted enough to tell everything too. I guess its too much for him. But now having to pretend I’m ok around him too, i’m just so tired.

    2
    Reply

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