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So true!
Good news, a gently reminder of how much I failed in life.
I react on the outside like the first panel, but I’m reacting on the inside like the second one. Especially at night when I’m trying unsuccessfully to go to sleep!
I measure my failures by other’s success. But I measure my success by not measuring myself to others? Sure I’ll make that work.
Very true res
onates
So so true. And then I hate myself for not being genuinely happy for them.
I’m happy for them and feel like shit at the same time.
Though I’ve recovered from my depression I am still unable to feel strong positive emotions. I can be pleased, content, or satisfied, and look forward to things, but I no longer feel intense joy, euphoria, excitement, or enthusiasm. Sometimes people get upset when they tell me important positive news (e.g. that they’re getting married or expecting a baby) and I fail to show much reaction.
I’ve had a similar experience but in reverse, received a text from my mother telling me one of my uncles had died and my sister, who I was with at the time, received the same text. I was terribly apathetic to the news, whereas my sister had a very animated reaction to the news, and I remember thinking “Oh so that’s what a normal reaction to this would be”.
Why I have to continually isolate myself. I’m weary of having to put on the front all the time.
Someone close to me recently won a drawing competition that we both entered. I was supposed to feel happy for them, but instead I thought “Why did you ever think you’d deserve it? Selfish. You shouldn’t have even tried.”