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Story/Art © 2017 Clay

382 "I don't know what to do with what I feel."

Recurring Characters

Published February 10, 2018 17 Comments

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Comments

  1. Emilie ScanlonEmilie Scanlon says

    February 10, 2018 at 5:25 am

    This reminds me of how I felt when my uncle committed suicide. Tomorrow will be the thirteen year anniversary of his passing. I like to believe that I’ve “moved on” at this point, but sometimes it still stings.

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    Reply
  2. Elsa MartinezElsa Martinez says

    February 10, 2018 at 5:44 am

    Many people do get help and good help at that for decades and it’s still what it is though, not everyone commits suicide out of stubborness or lack of effort to heal (in case anyone would assume this, not saying it is what the post implies at all).

    8
    Reply
  3. Melissa ToffolonMelissa Toffolon says

    February 10, 2018 at 6:34 am

    Very powerful thank you for doing what you are doing with these.

    3
    Reply
  4. Dennis KroschkeDennis Kroschke says

    February 10, 2018 at 6:56 am

    even after recovering, if you can call it like that. there are still worse days. they are just not everyday. i don,t think that theres something like a complete healing

    3
    Reply
  5. FML says

    February 10, 2018 at 11:36 am

    A very emotional strip this week. I struggle so hard with suicide and have been through a bad week with it. I try to listen to what my family tells me, but I just can’t understand how anyone could see my exit as anything other than a good thing. They tell me how much it would upset them, but it is meant to give them an escape from having to put up with me and my illness.

    6
    Reply
    • Agarax says

      February 14, 2018 at 12:41 am

      When I was depressed and people told me they cared about me, I would hear a nagging little voice that said, “No they don’t. No one could ever really care about me. I’m worthless, and everyone would be better off without me.” That little voice is the depression talking. Don’t listen to it. It’s lying to you, trying to destroy you. Reject what it tells you, and tell yourself the exact opposite, out loud if you have to.

      5
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  6. Opus the Poet says

    February 10, 2018 at 3:19 pm

    I’m old enough that I have lost 3 friends or loved ones to suicide over the years that I know for sure, plus a couple more we aren’t sure about. I thought about it myself, but I chickened out after the first time I got killed riding my bike. Being dead doesn’t hurt unless you count being bored to death when you’re already dead. not trying to be funny on this, just don’t have better words for it.

    4
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  7. Nina FelwitchNina Felwitch says

    February 10, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    Thank you!

    I almost succeeded in ending my life a year ago and I’m very glad that I survived somehow because like everyone says: It does get better someday.
    And it did.
    Don’t give up!

    4
    Reply
  8. Luca BergamascoLuca Bergamasco says

    February 10, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    You moved me to tears, Clay. A great strip, really. Thank you!

    1
    Reply
  9. Lithium Dragon says

    February 11, 2018 at 2:22 am

    There is a stubbornness/selfishness element with depression. I remember my depressed ex being unable to even apologize when he hurt my feelings because he couldn’t handle any more shame, so he refused to acknowledge the pain he’s caused. Sad… but frustrating.

    Reply
  10. Anne AndresAnne Andres says

    February 11, 2018 at 8:22 am

    I’m writing a story arc in my webcomic right about about the aftermath of someone killing themself. It mirrors this but takes like 4 months to get to what you did in 4 panels.

    1
    Reply
    • Anonymous says

      June 4, 2018 at 8:21 pm

      What is the website of your webcomic? Pls reply

      Reply
  11. Dana W says

    February 12, 2018 at 5:07 am

    I have support, I have love. I still think about it every day. Some days it whispers, some days it SCREAMS. I think it must just get to the point where all the love and help in the world just isn’t enough anymore.

    3
    Reply
  12. Agarax says

    February 14, 2018 at 12:47 am

    “I can’t forgive you and I can’t forgive myself, so how do I move forward?”

    Maybe you need to skip forgiveness and move on to acceptance. What happened was terrible, it was wrong, it was hurtful, and maybe it was selfish, but there’s nothing you can do to change it, so you have to let it go.

    3
    Reply
  13. someone says

    February 15, 2018 at 3:06 am

    You know what? Mike Shinoda must be be feeling the same. Just saying. It’s painful isn’t it? A Love to you who are reading s2

    Reply
  14. Glen says

    February 15, 2018 at 8:51 pm

    I know exactly who in my life would do the “I should have…” line: the first ones to abandon me when my PTSD/depression took over my life. It would serve them right to suffer like they make me suffer.

    Reply
  15. Elle says

    February 25, 2018 at 9:23 am

    I always wonder… I honestly don’t think anyone would care much if I killed myself, because they don’t act like it, now. I’d kind of be disgusted at them if they acted/felt sad and wondered what they could have done to help.

    1
    Reply

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