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So spot on. I’ve lost way to many friends because of stuff like this I do… blah.
I did this deliberately. I had nothing to offer them and figure they would be better off with me.
Also, I’m poor, disability doesn’t give you much too live on, so my friends would have to for me most of the time.
“pay for me most of the time”
I tried to earn money doing commissions. I ended up avoiding my email for over 6 months. Almost a year since I was supposed to have those commissions done and I still feel so guilty. (I take payment after, so at least I didn’t run off with anyone’s money). Now I’m terrified to try again even though I’m in a better place (thanks to therapy and medication) because what if one of those people from a year ago come back and demand to know why I agreed to do their commission and then vanished? The guilt and fear is overwhelming.
Been on both sides of that. You didn’t rob anybody, so while you’ve probably lost customers, you didn’t lose integrity. Everybody misjudges how much they can handle when they open for commissions. Maybe you can handle 1. Maybe you can’t handle that many this year. Setting up a workflow that… works… it is hard, and I do not know how to do it.
Gray Forshaw: made me think of your message the other day. You aren’t alone.. X
This really hits home for me.
Wow, so on the button about this.
Big part of the reason I want to move to a new country, culture and language an ocean away. Sometimes it’s better to cut your loses and start fresh. Maybe it won’t work and I’ll be right back where I started, but if I do nothing, ongoing misery is guaranteed.
I feel this way. I have friends who, goodness love them, write extremely long emails to me. Even on my good days, I just can’t pull the energy to do it, so I drop off. They tend to come back and inquire after a while, with short, manageable messages, but they fly back to long and it starts all over again. I hate it because I live to get the messages, but they are a huge pain to reply to and I feel bad for my friends not getting a timely reply.
Some people just want to know they’re heard. I tell myself this when I make a smiley instead of a full response. Especially from the phone, because typing there is a pain.