I would add one other fear, that I won’t be smart, funny, capable and resposible enough to keep person I like/love near me. That some other person would come around and easily took my love away, because I am the worse option.
Strange enough, I’m not afraid of that. I’m afraid that I’m draining my partner, instead of making him happy. That I’m failing at being a girlfriend.
The possible consequential breakup isn’t the point of the fears.
Damn. I just left my boyfriend after 8 days because of this. I was so afraid I couldn’t measure up, that I’d drag him down with my lack of energy. He deserves a happy relationship. I wish I was able to enrich his life but I can barely stand myself.
A couple months ago I discussed psychiatric service dogs with my therapist. One of the challenges I have is interpersonal skills, especially forming close relationships. I said that one advantage of having a service dog would be connecting with other service dog handlers who would likely understand that they may need to be gentle with me. Her response was, “What? You mean hook up with a project?” By saying that they are not worthy of relationships, she implied the same about me. I fired her after the next session.
Lot’s of interesting comments already from people comparing this to themselves, that’s cool. I feel from the outside, as I’m not looking for a relationship. The sister reflects him well, it’s like she isn’t being critical, she is just honestly summing up how he sees himself. An honest snapshot of a situation.
When I first met my husband, I was positive that when he knew “the real me” he would leave. That was 31 years ago, and he hasn’t left yet. Love this post.
I would add one other fear, that I won’t be smart, funny, capable and resposible enough to keep person I like/love near me. That some other person would come around and easily took my love away, because I am the worse option.
Strange enough, I’m not afraid of that. I’m afraid that I’m draining my partner, instead of making him happy. That I’m failing at being a girlfriend.
The possible consequential breakup isn’t the point of the fears.
This. So much this.
Much Agreed
Damn. I just left my boyfriend after 8 days because of this. I was so afraid I couldn’t measure up, that I’d drag him down with my lack of energy. He deserves a happy relationship. I wish I was able to enrich his life but I can barely stand myself.
Who else thinks is cool ?
A couple months ago I discussed psychiatric service dogs with my therapist. One of the challenges I have is interpersonal skills, especially forming close relationships. I said that one advantage of having a service dog would be connecting with other service dog handlers who would likely understand that they may need to be gentle with me. Her response was, “What? You mean hook up with a project?” By saying that they are not worthy of relationships, she implied the same about me. I fired her after the next session.
I’m kinda living this scenario at the moment.
I hear you, but that” s just the beginning
Lot’s of interesting comments already from people comparing this to themselves, that’s cool. I feel from the outside, as I’m not looking for a relationship. The sister reflects him well, it’s like she isn’t being critical, she is just honestly summing up how he sees himself. An honest snapshot of a situation.
When I first met my husband, I was positive that when he knew “the real me” he would leave. That was 31 years ago, and he hasn’t left yet. Love this post.
Too accurate.