depression comix

Story/Art © 2017 Clay

275 "There was a time"

Published 21 Comments

depcom.275.col.400px

English
PANEL 1:
CAPTION: There was a time when I had a lot of friends.
PANEL 2:
CAPTION: But when the illness was at its worst …
CAPTION: … it helped me lose them all.
PANEL 3:
CAPTION: The problem is when we find ourselves trying to recover …
CAPTION: … and you want to reach out again …
PANEL 4:
CAPTION: … you find that your true skill is in losing friends …
CAPTION: … not making them.
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Comments

  6. Sad but true. Though I have found TRUE friends who have stuck with me through the bad times and I am forever grateful. Being ill really shows you who your true friends are.

    Reply

    • I have bipolar as well. I used to have friends who wouldn’t check on me for months and months, to the point where I didn’t talk to them for a year or two at a time when I would get in a really bad depressive state. Now I have friends (and a husband) who stand by me and even visit me in the mental hospital on the occasions that I have to go in for med adjustments. They are the best.

      Reply

  7. Oh man. Painful. So often it’s self isolation. You hate yourself, project that onto everyone you know and stay away from them long enough that they finally stop trying. It’s self fulfilled anguish. Then you hate yourself for that. It’s a horrible disease.

    Reply

  9. I am in the middle…no, near the end of this. I only have one left, and well, the last one rarely talks to me nowadays. I already see the ruins in my future.

    Reply

    • It’s very difficult to try to build a support network after you’ve torn all your relationships apart. I hope you keep strong, and know that you are understood here.

      Reply

  10. “I should reach out to this person, it’s been such a long time.” —- “Wow, that was a great conversation! I should talk to them again soon.” –THE NEXT DAY– ‘Hey Anon, thanks for talking the other day. How does it sound if we call later and talk some more?’ “Oh god, now I have no free time? What have I done?! Maybe if I ignore them they’ll think I was busy…”

    Reply

  11. I gave up on the idea of friends a long time ago. I totally understand people not wanting to be around me; I can’t stand being around me too. The isolation and lonelyness were painful for a long time, but I got used to it.There are only two people that think of me as a friend, but I don’t see them very often. I am afraid that if they are around me too much it my personality will drive them away.

    Unfortunately, my isolation makes things hard on my family. My son one day several months ago asked me why ai don’t have any friends. He is 15 and doesn’t know about my illness. The only answer I could give him is that I am not very likable and I make people uncomfortable: He told me that I should make some friends, but it is too late for me to learn how. I only know how to alienate people; all I have to do is be myself.

    Reply

    • I think I hear you loud and clear here. Every time I try to make a new friend at some inevitable point I feel an undeniable urge to hide back under my shell like a frightened tortoise, burning bridges along the way. It isn’t the world that’s broken but me. It’s a hard thing for people on the outside to understand, but when you get used to loneliness and isolation, you change and your social abilities get damaged along the way.

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      Reply

  13. I’ve never really trusted anyone enough to have a best friend, and I learned how to get along without any friends for a long time, but now I appreciate being able to have a few people I can talk to and hang out with.

    I’ve found that tabletop games are a good way to meet people. There are plenty of games clubs and hangouts, the gamers are there to have fun, and they often tend to be introverted themselves. Some like to talk and some prefer to focus on the game itself, which leaves you free to do either as you please.

    Reply

  14. This is so sad but true, I isolate and push people away because I am too inside my head. Then I make up excuses for the reason why I dropped off the face of the Earth. I found I have to be careful who I can tell and who will understand. Sucks

    Reply

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