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Story/Art © 2017 Clay

267 "Every person, every failure, every negative thought ... "

Recurring Characters

Published December 5, 2015 31 Comments

depcom.267.col.400px

English
PANEL 1:
CAPTION: Every person, every thing I ever lost, I keep a small part close to my heart to remind me of what is gone.
PANEL 2:
CAPTION: Every failure, real or perceived, I nurture so I can feel shame even when I have no reason to.
— AUGH! That thing I did in 2009 … why the HELL did I do THAT?
PANEL 3:
CAPTION: Every negative thought I recycle to ensure that nothing positive can ever get through.
— Hey!! Good (work!)
— EHHH… IT WAS ALL CRAP.
PANEL 4:
— If anyone knows how NOT to do this … I’m ALL ears.

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Comments

  1. Jonathan HamrickJonathan Hamrick says

    December 5, 2015 at 7:11 am

    What’s even worse? I’m scared to stop thinking like this, for fear of being even MORE selfish and inconsiderate than I already am.

    10
    Reply
    • Keith GottschalkKeith Gottschalk says

      December 5, 2015 at 7:48 am

      I get it. I’m the same way. I had a headstart with Catholic guilt. No one can be harder on us than us

      4
      Reply
  2. Elena GraninaElena Granina says

    December 5, 2015 at 7:17 am

    Giving an advise on this is like giving that Monopoly money…
    But for me it’s like accepting I’m a failure and was a failure and will be a failure and since I accept that then why should I stress about it? I did stupid things, I will do them again. Deal with it, other people. Deal with it, my inner self.

    Reply
  3. Yenni DesrochesYenni Desroches says

    December 5, 2015 at 7:19 am

    yep, I do this all the time….

    Reply
  4. Glenn says

    December 5, 2015 at 7:25 am

    Hits home. This is my life.

    1
    Reply
  5. rachelgirl8 says

    December 5, 2015 at 7:27 am

    I feel the exact same way.

    1
    Reply
  6. Keith GottschalkKeith Gottschalk says

    December 5, 2015 at 7:45 am

    This. Is me. To a T. All of it captured in one four panel.

    Reply
  7. Elise VillarealElise Villareal says

    December 5, 2015 at 8:07 am

    Yep.

    Reply
  8. Robert HowardRobert Howard says

    December 5, 2015 at 8:22 am

    I’ve done this all my life

    Reply
  9. Felis DeeFelis Dee says

    December 5, 2015 at 8:26 am

    2009? Try 1987! ?

    Reply
    • Susan Haas says

      December 5, 2015 at 8:29 am

      I was going to say 1974!

      Reply
    • Dana W says

      December 5, 2015 at 9:51 am

      Mine start in 1968……….

      Reply
  10. JC DinyesJC Dinyes says

    December 5, 2015 at 9:26 am

    I’ve been here – spent most of my life here in fact. One thing that helped me A LOT… thinking statistically. I used to apply negative terms to myself based on just a handful of – or even a single – actions. But instead of thinking of just those times that I’ve been – for example – selfish, I also remember that there are times when I’m not selfish (times I have made time/money/emotional sacrifices for others, times I’ve supported a friend or stranger…) and it comes down to percentages. Yes, sometimes I act selfishly (everyone does), but it’s maybe 20% of the time. The majority of the time, I am NOT selfish. Mean? The instances in which j have been mean really stuck in my mind, but when I think of all the interactions throughout my life, I am much more often kind than mean and then maybe sometimes I’m just neutral. Still difficult for me to make a blanket statement that I am unselfish and kind, but I am now able to say “I am GENERALLY kind/unselfish/smart/good mom…” and so on, all the way through the faults I used to list off day after day.

    Reply
  11. Dana W says

    December 5, 2015 at 9:50 am

    Holy fuck. Of all the comics you have ever done. None hits me closer to home that this. Never………..

    Reply
  12. Dana W says

    December 5, 2015 at 9:54 am

    I’ll hit some thought about something dumb from thirty years ago and I’ll spontaneously say, or yell. “I SUCK!” I’ve tried to stop and focus on the cause every single time, and realize it for what it is, it can help, but not very much and not very often.

    Reply
  13. Nort ParryNort Parry says

    December 5, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    Having been there, 1931 to 1945, I let you know it’s provenance.

    Reply
  14. Conor Alistair McGowanConor Alistair McGowan says

    December 5, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    This…is painfully relevant right now.

    Reply
  15. Hero InglorionHero Inglorion says

    December 5, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    Medication

    Reply
    • Riko ErstedRiko Ersted says

      January 31, 2016 at 9:36 am

      I wish… I was on Prozac and it was great…then it just stopped working…and I was on Effexor, but it gave me horrible side-effects that are still happening even almost a year later. Dreading even trying anything else especially when I can’t even be sure it’ll work.

      Reply
  16. Meghan MoralesMeghan Morales says

    December 5, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    Every day

    Reply
  17. Alyssia CookeAlyssia Cooke says

    December 5, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    Something to focus on and repeat; a name and a face works wonders for me.

    Reply
  18. depression comixdepression comix says

    December 5, 2015 at 9:33 pm

    I’m grateful for all your wonderful, thoughtful comments. Please keep them coming.

    Reply
  19. Kiara JamesKiara James says

    December 6, 2015 at 6:33 am

    8 Things People With Hidden Depression Do

    http://everydayhealths.info/8-things-people-with-hidden-depression-do/

    Reply
  20. fishrobber69 says

    December 6, 2015 at 10:18 pm

    Nothing I can add, other than that I have done this my entire life and I don’t know how to stop. I end up believing the negative thoughts.

    Reply
  21. @ClayComix says

    December 7, 2015 at 8:44 pm

    ? depression comix #267 https://t.co/FYrPUDxkFg This is a kind of a recap of several… https://t.co/k004JLJr7B

    Reply
  22. Agarax says

    December 8, 2015 at 12:08 am

    I’ve heard that people with eidetic memory find it to be more of a curse than a blessing. Being able to recall with perfect clarity every stupid, thoughtless, or mean thing you’ve ever done or that anyone has ever done to you is a kind of hell.

    People with depression tend to remember the negative and forget the positive, while those without it tend to do the opposite. If only there were a simple way to switch from one to the other.

    Reply
  23. Emma OneilEmma Oneil says

    December 9, 2015 at 11:35 am

    6 Tips To Help You Overcome Anxiety & Depression Without Using Drugs

    http://everydayhealths.info/6-tips-to-help-you-overcome-anxiety-depression-without-using-drugs/

    Reply
  24. FML says

    December 30, 2015 at 12:52 am

    I have been doing this since I was 9 years old. Really wish I could find a way to make it stop. While it is a relief to know I am not alone, I still feel guilty for finding relief in other people suffering the way I am.

    Reply
  25. Ray says

    January 9, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    One thing I found helpful: Gratitude. Asking myself “what am I grateful for today?” and scanning my memories of the day. It takes me a while to come up with anything, since my mind keeps coming up with negatives first, and sometimes it’s just “I eventually made it out of bed today”, but it adds up.

    Reply
  26. sparkyspark142640606 says

    February 17, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    Medication. I am not kidding. It saved my life. The ‘thoughts’ are still there but they are put on mute. Then you can start to move forward and fight a WINNING battle.

    1
    Reply
  27. Sometimes the bear says

    March 27, 2017 at 3:30 am

    Medication, therapy, mindfulness meditation, exercise, regular sleep schedule, gratitude exercises, journaling… all of it, as much of the time as I can manage. [And you can’t start doing everything at once.] You don’t forcibly silence the negative thoughts, just give yourself space to step outside them and look at them analytically. Sometimes that lets you break the cycle, sometimes it lets you dial the negative response back in proportion to the negative event or perception that triggered it.

    And yes, it’s work and it takes energy. Depression is part of you – that negative cycle uses the same creative and intellectual tools that you bring to every other kind of thinking. Part of the trick is to work on building up the other kinds of thinking. Replacing “never” and “always” with “sometimes” and “maybe” in your inner voice is an exercise that’s worth a try.

    Reply

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