depression comix

Story/Art © 2017 Clay

214 "Falling in love when you're depressed"

Published 49 Comments

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Comments

    • Me too. Last person I was seriously involved with couldn’t deal when I had a major depressive episode and broke up with me – six weeks before we were supposed to get married. And expected me to sympathize with how hard that had been for HIM.

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  13. I have started a relationship for the first time with this amazing girl, and this is already starting to happen to me. For the first time in my life, I found someone who likes me for me, and I am not gonna let my brain make me give up on that. It may tell me that I am worthless, and ugly, and she would be better off without me, but when she smiles, I don”t hear that. The heart is stronger than the brain.

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    • Tom, just remember we are not our thoughts. I know it’s hard..I could so relate to this comic. Every sentence, every bit of it fits me 100 percent. But, I found someone who loves me. This month will be our 18th wedding anniversary, and every day I am in awe that he is still with me, and still loves me. The insecurity never goes away, but we just have to get through it, because we ARE worthwhile, we DO deserve to be loved. Keep your heart open! Thanks for sharing.

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    • You’re right.. But the problem is that you always have to wait for that smile. You’ll always have those thoughts going around in your mind, and they will hurt a lot. Then yes, sooner or later the thing that makes you happy will come, but a second later it will be the same.. This is it, for me.. I’m in a relationship too, and I’m trying really hard to keep on going, to make her happy, but I will always think I’m not enough for her.. I hope it will get better.

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  17. The greatest love of my life left me after a three year relationship on RELIGIOUS PRINCIPLES.
    The second greatest love of my life left me after 38 years of marriage for CANCER.
    My heart hurts too much to let anyone in the door… anyway who would want a depressed and messed up 60+ woman?

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    • Gill, your post touched my heart. So sorry that you had such painful experiences. I suffer from depression, in fact, I lost my career due to Major Depressive Disorder. Unfortunately, we let our depression define us, I mean, how could we not? I am truly blessed that I’ve been married for 18 years to an understanding, caring man, who puts up with my infinite sadness and despair; but the point I wish to make is I am also approaching 60 years of age, I am practically a hermit (by choice), but I have found solace in creating art. It has become my life’s calling, and has helped me with feeling worthless. I would like to suggest that you search out to find something that makes you feel better, no matter how silly it may seem, and become a master at it. I started out really sucking at art, but I have gone to the library and checked out some kids book on art history, creativity, and mostly technique. I am actually starting to be rather good at it. Reading the book “The War of Art”, which is a book about creativity was all I needed to round everything out. I don’t know if this advice would help at all, but since we are about the same age, I thought I would mention it to you.

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    • The worst thing for me is that when I go through this I shut myself off from everyone to recover. Putting myself out there romantically always makes me open up myself in general. If I don’t actually end up getting the emotional backing I’m reaching for when I allow myself to open up like that, it usually blows up in the end and results in me having no energy or courage left in me to even keep up basic relationships.

      There’s been very few periods like this where I don’t just up and wordlessly disappear, the majority of the time when I do however it predictably ends poorly. I’ve been forgiven for it a lot, but when someone flakes out on you again and again you can only ignore that so much.

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    • There are different kinds of depressions, gradual slides to the fog and out of it for good, sudden, repetitive falls to a deep, dark pit, continuous numbness veiling all existence for years etc. Defining one depression more true than the other isn’t very helpful. So yes, a person truly depressed can fall in love – and another person truly depressed might not be able to fall in love.

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    • TBH what I read in this comment was: “people that are depressed ARE depression, because it’s all they are capable of feeling”. Thank you very much for the ableism, it’s not like we have enough of that running around. Oh, wait.

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        • Still ableism, but it’s horizontal. One can’t generalise something, even when speaking on one’s own experience. My impression of her comment was “you’re not depressed ‘enough’ if you have fallen in love”, which can pretty much be “I’ve Got It Worse Thank You(tm)”. I’ve heard a thousand times from my father (who also has depression) that “I’m not trying hard enough as [he is]” or other mentally ill people saying to another that they “should not say they are depressed because what they have is not enough for that”.

          And I myself was ableist by not considering that her comment may be based on her experience. And I apologise for that.

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  20. All my relationships (not only dating, but friendships too) end in “you are never getting better, so i want you out of my life”. Sometimes I am thankful that I’m grey-asexual, but sometimes I think that my (lack of) sexuality and non-platonic feelings are also part of my illnesses…

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  23. It’s so difficult to get through the crippling loneliness when you feel like you’re not good enough to be around anyone in the first place..

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    • @d3andego
      Esto va a sonar muy cliché pero sólo voy a decirte que no te rindas. Así como un agrícultor no tendrá una cosecha al siguiente día por darle una semilla, yo no espero poder hacerte sentir completamente feliz con un solo comentario. Hay que subir un escalón a la vez.

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  33. I haven’t fallen in love in the past 6 years since I was 15. I still yearn to be loved by someone, but that’s probably not gonna happen, since I don’t know anybody. I don’t think that there’s a woman out there who would want to put up with me, and I couldn’t blame them, really. I mean, what do I have to offer? My looks, maybe? I think I look pretty decent, but that’s not enough to make up for everything else about me. And honestly I almost feel that it’d be my responsibility to not let them get involved with me in the first place. But then again, this is all theoretical, I never was in a relationship and I never was approached by anybody. It’s probably better that way.

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  37. reading through this comic, i’m relating to so much of it and coming to realize how bad ive felt, constantly, for such a long time. i feel like it’s just fake though, and i’m just being dramatic or whatever. I’ve lost my friends, but it feels like i deserve it and it’s justice for what a bad person i am for pushing them away.
    the last person i have to talk to suffers from depression. she and i are very close, but its so hard finding it in myself to be support all the time and i dont want her to leave too.
    my mum doesnt believe that i have a problem and so i havent believed i have a problem either.
    what do i do???

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  38. yeah, this is probably the hardest. you always think that you’re never good enough, and you’ll never be enough, and you can barely talk to them without feeling guilt for forcing them to stick around out of pity.

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