Published October 18, 2014 35 Comments
Ghausia Rashid Salam says
October 18, 2014 at 7:13 am
The end says that the rapist “got his rocks off” for a few minutes. From my understanding, that phrase indicates sexual satisfaction. But rape isn’t about sexual satisfaction, it’s about power. So I’m uncomfortable with how it ends.
June 4, 2016 at 5:46 pm
First off, getting a momentary power high isn’t somehow better than getting sexual satisfaction. Second, it is more often about sexual satisfaction than power. That’s why so many men don’t even UNDERSTAND that rape is a problem. To them it’s just a bit of fun. That’s where the idea of the person saying no, but their body saying yes came from.
Mind you, some rape is about power, and some is about both, but the ending of this comic is true for many situations.
Anne Andres says
October 18, 2014 at 7:19 am
Ghasia Rashid Salam – I agree to an extent. Not all sexual assault is necessarily violent (or in a power way), but can also be in what the attacker thinks is a ‘well, she isn’t saying no’ type of thing. It can be a very ugly line, and I think this particular page may allude to that. If not, and it is about the force nature, then yeah, I agree entirely that that phrasing is poor.
A.j. Ermenc says
October 18, 2014 at 7:22 am
Having that power over someone can be their way of “getting their rocks off”. And really, from the victim’s point of view, I don’t think it matters.
November 2, 2014 at 4:53 am
I completely agree.
Felis D says
October 18, 2014 at 7:25 am
And this is why, to my mind, rapists and abusers (sexual, physical or emotional) are the lowest scum of the earth.
Angel Parker says
October 18, 2014 at 7:34 am
If they stoop low enough to sexually assault, they won’t care how much damage they cause you. It’s sickening but it’s THEIR choice. They choose to violate and abuse. I want to know what motivates them to actually go through with it. Fantasy? Repeating what was done to them? Drugs?
Jenny Islander says
October 19, 2014 at 1:59 pm
Telling themselves all kinds of stories about how other people might be rapists but they aren’t, they’re just [fill in the blank], with optional assertion that what they do is OK because their targets [fill in the blank].
TRIGGERY STUFF AHEAD, JUST TO LET YOU KNOW.
My rapist said that “A fuck ain’t nothin’ but a handshake.” He liked to shake hands with his daughters.
October 28, 2014 at 1:17 pm
Very few people bad people understand that they are bad people, sadly. I’m so sorry to hear that happened to you.
April 4, 2017 at 7:21 am
That’s true. They could’ve stopped at any time but they didn’t,
October 18, 2014 at 7:36 am
Anne I agree with you to an extent, because we’re seeing the comic from the survivor’s perspective, yes? So on that count it isn’t a “no means seduce me” perspective from the rapist. That’s what unsettled me. And A.J I think the word you’re looking for is survivor, not victim! 🙂
October 18, 2014 at 7:45 am
Fair enough Ghausia, although I think there’s no choice in being a victim whereas there is some choice in being a survivor. But that argument detracts from the comic’s intent of showing how a few minutes for one person can be a lifetime for another.
depression comix says
1) “getting one’s rocks off” can mean “enjoyment” e.g. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=get%20your%20rocks%20off, especially in America. I think the UK English definition is a little more stricter in this sense, but I’m not from there.
2) from an victim’s point of view, I don’t think considering the assailant’s psychological motives would be a priority.
3) Rape as a pure act of power makes it another violent act like torture or physical abuse. It is something a quite different, and something that does not require violence or overt power to happen (e.g. spousal sexual assault, assault done with alcohol and drugs). This is a good article about why removing the sexual element from rape takes away from what makes rape an especially horrifying crime: http://thethinkingasexual.wordpress.com/2014/05/01/why-the-desexualization-of-rape-is-problematic/
October 18, 2014 at 8:23 am
This breaks my heart. It’s happened to so many women. I hate everything about it. It’s important to say this stuff, Clay, and I give you credit for doing so. I hate the fact that it needs to be said.
October 18, 2014 at 8:38 am
Wow! This just about sums it up.
I, too, was uncomfortable with “got his rocks off”.
That phrase immediately brought up a horrendous image in my mind that, while it was happening, and prior to me disassociating and leaving my body, of the rapist with a sadistic, determined look on his face (he forced me to look at him).
October 18, 2014 at 8:52 am
Identifying that power is the true motive behind rape doesn’t take away the sexual element from it, I don’t think. It is literally the most invasive way to harm a person. More so than hitting them. A person with a need to have control over another person would definitely get off on that more so than your average bully or abusive partner.
October 18, 2014 at 9:47 am
As this is from the survivor’s point of view, we don’t need to debate how rapists divvy up their satisfaction
October 18, 2014 at 9:52 am
Thank you. <3
October 18, 2014 at 9:53 am
You’re very welcome.
Ellen Ross says
October 18, 2014 at 10:27 am
I am reluctant to share this only because it may be triggering for some of my friends, but I see so much truth in this.
October 18, 2014 at 11:18 am
Ellen, it was a bit triggering for me (ptsd rearing its ugly head). But even more than that, it summed up so perfectly how many of us feel, and it is incredibly validating; and therefore, may serve to help heal.
Knowing in the “after”, we are not alone and that other victims / survivors go through the same thing. Wow!
All the horrible cruel messages we have received: ” just get over it”, “forget about it”, ” it happened X years ago, why does it still affect you” holds no power, because Clay acknowledged a “Lifetime”.
(So if I get a break, and get to enjoy the next 30-40 years of my life, yay! A bonus!!)
Your compassion is also very heartfelt and greatly appreciated.
April 4, 2017 at 7:25 am
Unfortunately I’ve received some myself including “It’s no big deal.”
Seditious Spyke says
October 18, 2014 at 11:23 am
This comments section…
Kurt Onstad says
October 18, 2014 at 1:58 pm
Great comic as always. Just a little note; perhaps you should put the “Trigger Warning” above the comic instead of below.
October 21, 2014 at 8:40 pm
This entire website are comics about depression, etc. The entire website is a trigger warning….
Excellent work, Clay. Thank you for this website and all these comics.
October 28, 2014 at 1:13 pm
Yes, I did have trigger warnings on the site at one point but I actually had arguments with people about what constitutes a trigger warning. There is no statement as to what requires a trigger warning from an authoritative psychological source so in the end I ended the practice. On Tumblr where I have to be more careful, the warnings are still there, but then again Tumblr is more of a shared blog than this would be.
October 18, 2014 at 2:44 pm
Kurt, assuming you came here from the Tumblr or Facebook mirror, the problem is that with both those networks it always puts the image at the top in front of any text that I put into it. It’s a limitation of the network, and not much I can do about it except put it into the image itself. In defense of myself for the Tumblr mirror, there are trigger warning tags in the footer that can be picked up by Tumblr Savior.
Julia Davis says
October 19, 2014 at 12:44 am
Becky Plant says
October 19, 2014 at 1:43 am
Thaddeus T. Surgington III says
October 23, 2014 at 3:16 am
its said it looks like someone i know and actually happens have those scars
November 17, 2014 at 6:25 am
I was 5.
Biggles (@Taco_Lad) says
December 7, 2014 at 12:20 pm
“Whatever Harm Done”
December 7, 2014 at 12:22 pm
If you don’t follow @depressioncomix yet, you should.
March 15, 2021 at 10:04 am
This is why we advocate for people carrying weapons. Anything you can use to defend yourself, keep it at your side wherever you can.
July 20, 2021 at 10:52 pm
Not always a good idea. Someone big and strong enough to hold you down and rape you is big and strong enough to forcibly take away the weapon and use it on you. And you have to train with the weapon to know how to use it, and be willing to use it.
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