This is exactly what I was trying to explain to someone lately… Their response was to tell me that no one is ‘worthy’ of love or affection, that it’s random and nothing I can do will make me deserve it – but if I lose weight it might be more likely to happen.
Looking at this comic, I realise that that person was an idiot. So thanks.
Deserving… It’s a funny concept. No one deserves any good or bad thoughts/feelings. We are all worthy of good stuff though. Thinking about it in deserving terms is associating things to a balance or some sort of cosmic justice or karma or… Whatever. We should probably filter emotions and events through a lense of contingency, the dynamics of a multifactorial reality with everything and everyone reacting to everything and everyone else. I deserve to win the lottery just as much as I didn’t deserve to trip over that rock last Tuesday. it’s just happen because I was walking instead of taking the bus, because it was raining, because I was focused on something else… Reason is not meaning, meaning is artificially constructed. Everything just sort of happens. Which is almost tragic in a way but relieving nevertheless. Just hold on, keep it up, let it be, get by, it’s okay. It will all be okay. No one is judging/controlling anything. Most of all no one is trying to get us.
In my head, its less will other people love me and more that they deserve better.
I’ve become more analytical of my actions and realized even before I got sick I wasn’t doing a good job of say, caring about my family while they were caring about me. I’ve had to write notes to myself to remind me to ask my mom how she was doing. Normally she calls and I just rant about what’s bothering me. This was the case even before I got depressed.
I don’t think I’d do a good job of being a partner in a relationship even if I loved someone. Too self absorbed. People deserve better than that.
So far the issue hasn’t come up. I hadn’t exactly been dating before. But I was thinking of actively trying to. And now I’ve realized that its pointless long term.
So glad I don’t feel that way anymore.
I’d be with you…
That’s about right.
For those of us who feel we don’t deserve love but still have that part that wants it anyways
Well, believe it or not, I’m one of those who feel undeserving of love. That’s why I said what I said. I suffer from major depression.
In a strange way, the broken, damaged, but reparable packages are more interesting than the whole ones.
David, this is more true than you know. As a matter of fact….
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kintsugi
Sorry, the comment wasn’t directed at anyone in particular, it was just a dedication for the strip.
Ah. I see.
🙁
It’s….me. I sometimes wish someone would try…..
But they never do. 🙁
This is exactly what I was trying to explain to someone lately… Their response was to tell me that no one is ‘worthy’ of love or affection, that it’s random and nothing I can do will make me deserve it – but if I lose weight it might be more likely to happen.
Looking at this comic, I realise that that person was an idiot. So thanks.
That last part about losing weight was especially unkind. Your weight has nothing to do with anything regarding love.
Deserving… It’s a funny concept. No one deserves any good or bad thoughts/feelings. We are all worthy of good stuff though. Thinking about it in deserving terms is associating things to a balance or some sort of cosmic justice or karma or… Whatever. We should probably filter emotions and events through a lense of contingency, the dynamics of a multifactorial reality with everything and everyone reacting to everything and everyone else. I deserve to win the lottery just as much as I didn’t deserve to trip over that rock last Tuesday. it’s just happen because I was walking instead of taking the bus, because it was raining, because I was focused on something else… Reason is not meaning, meaning is artificially constructed. Everything just sort of happens. Which is almost tragic in a way but relieving nevertheless. Just hold on, keep it up, let it be, get by, it’s okay. It will all be okay. No one is judging/controlling anything. Most of all no one is trying to get us.
In my head, its less will other people love me and more that they deserve better.
I’ve become more analytical of my actions and realized even before I got sick I wasn’t doing a good job of say, caring about my family while they were caring about me. I’ve had to write notes to myself to remind me to ask my mom how she was doing. Normally she calls and I just rant about what’s bothering me. This was the case even before I got depressed.
I don’t think I’d do a good job of being a partner in a relationship even if I loved someone. Too self absorbed. People deserve better than that.
So far the issue hasn’t come up. I hadn’t exactly been dating before. But I was thinking of actively trying to. And now I’ve realized that its pointless long term.